


Mamihlapinatapei

by Ginger Ninja (FlyingNerdBunny)



Series: Phrases/Words That Describe Love Better Than In English [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: But sorta meaningful, Germany Japan Spain and Romano briefly mentioned, M/M, it's odd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingNerdBunny/pseuds/Ginger%20Ninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mamihlapinatapei – Yagan</p><p>A wordless, yet meaningful look between two people who both desire to initiate something, but both are too scared to initiate it themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mamihlapinatapei

_Mamihlapinatapei – Yagan_

_A wordless, yet meaningful look between two people who both desire to initiate something, but both are too scared to initiate it themselves._

 

The meeting was dragging on, and all England could do was stare vacantly into his cup of tea. Life was boring at this moment, but he didn't dare wish for anything else, lest it actually come true in the worst way possible.

Forcing his eyes to look up, he scanned the room, finding similar expressions much like what his own must've been; tired, yawning countries who could think of a thousand other things they'd rather be doing. What a surprise. 

He began to doodle random little things on his sheets of paper that were intended to have notes on France's thoroughly brain-cell-killing presentation, mostly little flags. It was something about electric cars again, and in all honesty, he didn't give a shit about such things. 

England crossed his legs, leaning back in his chair to continue country watching and almost gagged at the way Spain was, for lack of a better expression, playing with Romano. In broad daylight! It was utterly preposterous, so he sent a glare in their general direction and quickly averted his gaze to where Japan was sat. 

In all honesty, he wasn't sure what was worse. Japan was reading some...what was it called? Yaoi, and England yet again had to look elsewhere. 

You'd think that with all this gagging and glaring and eye-averting he was something of a homophobe. No, quite the opposite. Which was the problem. He was sure pretty much everyone could've guessed, and probably had, along with the few countries who truly knew.

No, that wasn't the problem either. His problem was simply longing, and he was eager to cover up any other reason for it than his current boredom. But that was lying to himself, a habit he'd had since his object of longing had...well.

It wasn't fair, no. But that was another thing life was to England right now, unfair and boring. Realising these facts was the first step to making things better, he thought, and had been hoping and figuratively praying for this longing to be cut short.

"...which concludes my presentation, I've emailed you all the basis of it because really, does anyone listen?" France chuckled quietly, sending a wink in England's direction obnoxiously before taking his seat beside him. Leaning closer to whisper in his ear, France muttered "It's America's turn now, cher, what rubbish do you think he'll be talking about?"

Sighing heavily and closing his folder holding the paper, he didn't even bother giving his companion an ear lashing for the wink, instead opting to glare at him. "Who knows. I'm not sure I care anymore, but it's sure to be more interesting than your speech so shut up," he replied, putting the lid on his pen before adding a quick insult about his looks and sipping his tea.

This was yet another routine, the same things said with each conversation, with little variation. Boring. Deciding to ignore France's retorts, he placed his tea cup down on the saucer and leaned back again in his chair, waiting for the next irresponsible twat to start his presentation.

Of course, technology was involved. America and his bloody powerpoints. A simple picture of the Amazon rainforest appeared on the screen as the USA stood in the centre of the conference table. Giving the rest of the countries seated (apart from him might he add) a ridiculous grin, he began to talk animatedly about protecting the world's trees.

Well, this was a first. Air-head America actually gave a shit about the environment. England decided to listen, just because he had nothing better to do (no other reason, definitely not his voice) and watched the pictures slide past on the powerpoint.

He'd heard many variations of this speech, yet he still payed rapt attention to the sound of America's slightly annoying but still calming voice give him something to think about, but it wasn't the presentation.

It was clear England was in denial, even to himself. Ever since he left him, he had secretly pined for the American in a way he hated himself for. In short, England missed him. What aspect of him, he wasn't certain. It may have simply been that he had something to keep the boredom at bay, or it may have been that he sincerely missed the blue-eyed country.

He refused to say he loved him. Far from it, he still found the git insufferable and way too obnoxious. And he didn't desire him, not just yet. There was something in him that still felt like America was a child, the one he found in the tall grass centuries ago.

Obviously, he wasn't. And more obviously was the fact that that part of him was incredibly irrational. America was one of the most developed countries in this room, and although he should've been able to thank himself for that, he couldn't help but feel that it had nothing to do with him.

England just couldn't put a name to what he felt, what he wanted, despite knowing there was something. He likened it to discovering a new species of dinosaur, not quite sure what it was yet needing to know more, needing to find the other bones in order to create something from it.

A not-so-gentle elbow to his ribs pulled him out of his reverie, retreating once the other had his attetntuon. France gave him an odd look, before repeating what he had said prior to that about how grown up America had become. Honestly, England would've been a lot happier if he hadn't repeated that, and just resolved to ignoring him in return but that wasn't France's style.

Not so subtly jabbing his pen into his thigh, England growled something about shutting up before turning away and trying to absorb himself in his thoughts once more. 

It was obvious his longing was incredibly one sided, as he couldn't remember the last time America had even looked at him, let alone spoken to him directly. He had tried hard not to let it phase him, but that was something even he couldn't combat. 

In short, he guessed he had to be the one to start something, but he didn't want to. All this time he had worked hard to try and create some sort of relationship with his ex-colony but they all failed, and he just couldn't be bothered anymore.

All in all, it was doomed from the start. England didn't want to be absorbed in his thoughts anymore, they were beginning to get a little upsetting, and although it was difficult to make him upset, he didn't want anyone to notice.

Making the effort to look like he was listening again, he stared at the flickering pictures from the projector, and tried to think about something other than America. Which was difficult because he was currently the centre of attention.

America was beginning to wrap up his speech, giving his overall verdict on the situation and repeating his ideas on what to do, when their eyes met.

Unsure of what to do for that moment, he simply watched the other, reading his eyes and finding that there was something different in the way they shone from normal, something darker and not so childish. England forced himself to look away, confused and hopeful that America hadn't seen the very obvious sad and almost wishing look in his own eyes. 

He didn't know what to do, what had happened. Sure, something happened. Something passed between them that had never happened before, something that he really hadn't expected. 

England didn't want to think too much into it, in case he judged wrong and America simply was tired or bored like himself, but there was just something different. Biting his lip, he stared downwards at the table, trying to calm his muddled thoughts to make something of it.

He could've sworn that the look in his blue eyes matched his own, that maybe he too had been waiting but wasn't sure. It couldn't have been, it was too tempting.

Something akin to fear began to spread from these thoughts, but England had no idea what he was afraid of. Yet again, there was that need to define something that you simply couldn't, and he began to get frustrated. This wasn't fair at all.

It wasn't long before America ended his presentation, but he didn't seem as enthusiastic as before, a dull undertone tinting his voice, causing a few nations to begin muttering amongst themselves about what had happened. He was sure a few of them included himself, it wasn't something new for him to be gossiped about whenever America got upset or angry.

Maybe there was more basis to these rumours though, and he was just too blind to realise it, or simply too set in his ways to accept it. He felt eyes on him, watching him as well as America before Germany took over and thankfully ended the meeting. The gossiping got louder but he couldn't hear it anymore, thinking too hard to care. 

That was until a hand was placed on top of his folder, and his attention averted to the owner of said hand by a slightly awkward cough. England forced himself to look up at America as he held back a sigh of annoyance at the intrusion on his thought pattern. 

"... Can I help you, America?" He asked, not meeting the other's eyes for fear of seeing that same confusing look hidden in them, but feeling a little caged in by where America was stood.

A lengthy silence remained between the two of them as some nations began to file out of the room until there were only a few chatty ones left. "I... Don't exactly know what I'm supposed to do, but... Japan said I should talk to you," 

That was yet another unexpected thing that had happened today. "Since when do you listen to other people's advice?" England quipped, too late to stop the normal harshness of his tone whenever he came into conversation. "I'm sure that's a first for y-" 

"Arthur, shut up," America growled softly, bending down so his eyes were level with the other's. England was left shocked, eyes wide and coerced into silence. Using human names was something only the closest of countries did, and he hadn't heard anyone use his own since the Second World War. America had only used it once before when he was still in England's Empire. "It's called common courtesy to listen to someone before you start throwing insults,"

".... Sorry," was all he could think of to respond, mind too confused to keep up his walls of defiance and hatred. In all truth, he was stunned, and there was just a hint of regret in his voice. He didn't want to anger the nation in front of him. "Do go on..."

America sighed, meeting England's eyes across the table before tapping his fingers on the folder. "I can't say I know what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it, but there's something I've been meaning to do for a long time," His phone beeped for a moment, but America ignored it in favour of continuing to speak, which was again another shock for England. "I suppose I had been waiting for you to start it, but I can tell that's not going to happen, or, well, Japan told me that wouldn't happen,"

Again with Japan. The Asian nation sure was good at reading the atmosphere, but was he really that obvious? "What are you on about...?" The island nation asked tentatively, this conversation seemingly pulling both of them from their normal character. 

"Is it really that hard to guess?" America's eyes seemed to be scanning his own, both concerned and a little hurt, making England feel like he'd said something wrong again. "Maybe now isn't the best time..." And with that, America was up and walking away.

Too shocked and stunned to move, England simply stared at the space America had been only a moment ago, feeling that maybe the looks they shared held more meaning than he could decipher. 

Leaving the meeting room himself, he tried to make clear of what had just transpired between the two of them, and the new feelings he felt for the other, anxious but feeling that maybe life wasn't going to be quite as boring for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Yagan, or Yaghan (I think it's spelt) is a language originating from Chile, just so you know.
> 
> I think I like this one a lot more than some.
> 
> I like it when they get out of character hehe!
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Kudos and comments make me weep with happiness!


End file.
